Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

I've come to question the common catchphrase, "honesty is the best policy" in the last while, because it seems to me that very people have the emotional strength to handle my honesty.

What I mean is,  I'm often asked "what I think" about this or that. Sometimes this puts me in a difficult position - my truly honest opinion will likely offend or hurt them, but I can't honestly answer the question otherwise. The only other alternative is to avoid the question either through clever deflection (which never seems to work) or through outright refusal - which makes people more curious than before.

Some examples - a friend recently asked me for a discussion about Rob Bell - creator of the NOOMA video series and author of Velvet Elvis and other books. Anyone who knows me is aware that I think Rob Bell is a heretic - and I don't mean that to be hyperbole, I honestly believe he preaches a false gospel that leads people to hell. My friend and I began the discussion at the appointed time, but it started out as shooting the breeze, life updates, etc, as if she was avoiding the topic of Mr. Bell. When I finally broached the subject of Rob Bell with her, the conversation quickly went downhill. She had asked for this conversation, remember; and not only that, but she had done so in a way which sounded like she almost agreed with me and saw where I was coming from. Yet, when we talked and I reiterated my opinion on the subject, she became angry and upset, going so far as to call me an "arrogant prick" at one point.

Then this morning, in a church staff meeting, when my pastor kept using the phrase "planting a seed", I started cringing every time it was used. I realized very quickly that I hated that phrase. Someone else in the meeting asked about the phrase, so I mentioned I had a distaste for it. My pastor asked me why, so I gave him my honest opinion - essentially, I thought the phrase was utterly needless "Christian-ese". The discussion continued for a while, and at one point my pastor mentioned that he was feeling a bit defensive (since I had challenged a phrase which he held dear and used often). Now, I respect my pastor and his opinion. And I might be wrong about "planting seeds". But once again, I was asked my opinion, I answered truthfully, and someone got upset (almost).

So, what to do? I'm an opinionated person, and I love debates, discussions, arguments. Honestly, it's where I thrive, and it's how I learn. By forcing others to justify their beliefs while being forced to justify mine, I believe both parties come to better understanding of an issue. But most people can't seem to handle the kind of blunt honesty and air of definiteness that I have (I don't describe myself thus on my own authority - many other people have said that to me). They don't understand that the moments when I appear to be trying to attack and destroy someone's beliefs are the moments which I am most willing to learn - I want to be challenged, argued with, even attacked, with a sound, reasoned defense. That is how I learn.

But not everyone learns that way - in fact, in talking with my pastor, it seems most people in the world don't operate that way. It may sound foolish to most people, then, when I say that that fact is mind-boggling to me: it is so normal to shut my personal emotions down and operate on a purely logical level. The fact that most people can't understand where I'm coming from when I do this has always baffled me, and now I understand a bit more why.

By God's Grace, may I continue to fight for what I believe, but do so in a way which people are willing to receive.

Tearing Down Strongholds

Defend the Bible? Would you defend a Lion? Loose him; and let him go!

Charles Spurgeon 

I used to think that if you were clever enough, if you gave enough evidence, if your logic was sound enough, if you won every debate, that you could argue unbelievers into the Kingdom of God.

Boy, was I wrong!

Case in point, today I read a post by Christian apologist Ray Comfort, which simply states his burden to lead atheists away from hellfire. It seemed such a benign post to my sensibilities, and yet there was an overwhelming number of negative comments, atheists trying to logically de-construct Ray's post, his beliefs, and his ministry.

I felt sorry for all this unwarranted criticism from those whom Ray is actually labouring to save, so I felt moved to respond. Up until even just a few months ago, I would've engaged in intellectual debate and tried to logically de-construct their logical deconstructions line-by-line. But, as I've learned, that would've led to nothing but my own frustration and their further hardness of heart.

So I simply quoted John 3:18-20, and said that the atheists involved didn't actually want the evidence for the existence God that they were screaming for; they wanted an excuse to continue sinning, and they should instead repent of their sin and trust Christ. That is the truth. That is what the Bible says about them. And that is all I needed to write.

Charles Spurgeon said that Scripture was a lion - it doesn't need protecting, it just needs someone to open its cage. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 10 that

the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ

2 Corinthians 10:4-5

To destroy arguments against God, you need divine weapons. What can these be except those Paul lists in Ephesians 6: truth, righteousness, the readiness of the gospel, faith, salvation and, our only offensive weapon, the Word of God?

The Bible is the only thing we have that can ultimately lead someone to reject their unbelief and repent of their sins. No-one can be intellectually forced to believe. They can only be convicted of sin by the words of the Bible and the Holy Spirit. Debate is good and apologetics are good, but only the Word of the Lord can save.

I love arguments. But may I love preaching the Word even more.

Who knows how people will receive my comment. It will probably be hated, or simply ignored. But it was the truth, and that is all that needs to be said.